the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
