She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
What drink are we having for lunch?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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