ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
