I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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