i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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