my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
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I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
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Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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