i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome