We named our party play list daddy issues
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth