Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power