in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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