yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
