...so i touched it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
