pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just pee around me
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
