Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
