I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
