just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
