yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
