I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
