Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
