Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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