he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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