Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
