if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I didn't notice because vodka
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Pooping to opera.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
