you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
