There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
