Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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