Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
