i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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