either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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