oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Enjoy the penises
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
