My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
