you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Randomize