The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Can Purell be used as lube?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
