her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
