Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
