You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
