end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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