saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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