I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I could fuck to npr.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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