If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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