This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
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She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
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Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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