In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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