The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
