My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
