Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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