i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
