I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
