Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
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the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
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Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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