We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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