accomplished twins. life is a go
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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