ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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