you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
