Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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