i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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