Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
