What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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