I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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