i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
