I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My bed smells like the plague
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
