yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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