who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
