Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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