everyone is single if you try hard enough
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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