The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize