He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He better not be in your backpack
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
